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¡¡¡¡All Right Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn." "I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."

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¡¡¡¡S.O.B. My father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for Mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried. "I don't want another S.O.B. toasting his shins around my fireplace," he explained. With a sly grin, Mother cracked, "What makes you think I'd marry another S.O.B?"

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¡¡¡¡While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

¡¡¡¡"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

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